Adjusting

after 3 weeks of being in NYC im still trying to getting settled, oriented, and my feet wet. And it has not been very easy. Living in NYC is something that i really didnt think i was actually going to do. It is still surreal and to be honest overrated.

The past weeks have been tough. There has just been so many changes, from having roommates to living alone, from being an intern to a clinical dietitian, from CT to NYC. Its ironic how i feel lonely in such a big city. All the changes makes me long for the things that use to be there on a daily basis and makes me second think my decision.

I think i am making it tough for myself, because im focusing on what i dont have instead of what i do have. I looking at the negatives about living here (coast of living, too many people, no family, friends and boyfriend here) and its prohibiting me from enjoying NYC! If i focus on the negative then my whole experience will be negative so i need to start focusing on the positive. Adjusting to new things makes me yearn for the old because it was comfortable and change is often difficult to accept. but for me to move forward i can't stay in one place so i had to do this.

time and time again I realize that if i didnt choose to take this job and live here i would always wonder what if and try to work my way to where i am right now. I think no matter how much i want to go back to sd with my family and friends and no matter how much i want to see justin, i have this feeling that NYC is where i should be right now. I always wanted to do this, but didnt think I actually would. Its having a dream realized and i need to start enjoying it.

its funy how facebook fortunes say what you need to hear: "Dream of the future not of the past"