Im doing it again

So I started watching OTH again. All this talk about how good it is now made me want to catch up on it, so I got the first season on netflix. I don't even know why I stopped watching it in the first place. Maybe because I am not that into chad michael murry as I was before or I just forgot about it. But I am glad to pick it up again. Some things that they say or Lucus' quotes from famous authors at the end of the episode really get to me sometimes. For example, someone said someting along the lines of "figure out what you are afriad of so you can put a face on it and have a chance to defeat it." Which really got to me because of the other thing I am starting to do, again...

...applying to grad school. And it is giving me anxiety like hell, I started looking into a school and I was getting nervous, had the butterflies in my stomach and thought am I really cut out for this? Have not been getting much sleep because its going to be another big change and its so damn scary. So iIdecided to list the things I am afraid of so I know what I am up and against and hopefully conjure up the courage, strength and motivation to get through it.

1. The thought of Rejection
2. The possibility that my old professors won't write me a letter of rec again.
3. The agony of writing another personal statement. ( I was lucky I got through it the first time)
4. Staying at this job
5. The fear I wont be able to go through with it.


"dont give into your fears, if you do, you wont be able to talk to your heart"